Question:
How do I know if my boyfriend loves me??
Asked by: skn, boston, mass
Answer: Thanks for your question- I'm glad that you're taking your relationship seriously. Love is an important quality in any type of relationship (friendship, family, or romantic) and I'm glad it's a value to you. One of the most important things in any relationship that you can do is to give it time to really get to know the person to see what they are really like beyond what they may say about themselves. One aspect of love is looking out for the best of both people. If you feel that someone is only in a relationship to get something out of it for themselves then you may want to reevaluate the relationship. You also want to make sure that the person is respecting you and the limits you set in the relationship.
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Questions
about Friendships
My friend is going through a tough time in school and at home...she thinks she is pregnant. If she is, what can I do to show her that I'm always by her side?
Asked by: gyc, boston, mass.
Answer: What a great question! You clearly want to be the best friend that you can.
Being there for her is a great start. That might mean going with her to the doctor for a pregnancy test, calling her to check on how she's doing, or writing her a note or card to tell her how important she is to you. Maybe spend a little more time with her so that she has someone around to talk to if she needs to open up to someone. Listening well is a great way to show someone you're there for them. If she hasn't told her mom or another trusted adult about her situation yet, maybe you can help her think of what to say or even sit with her during the conversation. Even if your friend's not pregnant, this is a hard time for her, so anything you can do to help comfort her or make her feel more secure, will help her a lot.
How do I know if this guy likes me? He used to ask me these questions and ask me if I wanted help getting up when I sat on the floor. I kinda ignored him and then I started liking him and he is not really paying attention to me anymore. What does this mean? thank you
Asked by: D.F, Lawrence Ma
Answer: Thanks for writing in with your question! It can be hard to figure out how someone feels about you. It sounds like he is a nice guy and that he has treated you pretty well in the past. My advice to you would be to continue to get to know him as a friend and don't try to rush things along. Maybe you can hang out in a bigger group where you're both there- that way your friends will be there to tell you their thoughts and opinions and to make it a bit more comfortable.
If he is interested in you as more than a friend, then spending time together in groups will give him the chance to get comfortable enough around you to let you know that. If he just likes you as a friend, though, it's no loss because you haven't risked anything by telling him how you feel. It sounds like he'd be a good friend to have, and friends are great to have at your age (or any age)! You have plenty of time for more of the romantic stuff as you get older.
Is it a healthy choice to put a recent boyfriend before a family member or a friend of 3 years?
Asked by: JC, Quincy, MA
Answer: I'm glad you are thinking carefully about your decisions. I don't know a lot about your situation, but it does concern me that you are in a relationship that is hurting other relationships that are important to you. I guess I would challenge you to really consider whether or not this new boyfriend is worth hurting people who have been in your life for a lot longer.
Are your friends and family concerned that this new boyfriend is not right for you? If so, maybe you should think carefully about what concerns them and decide whether or not their concerns are legitimate. Please write again if you have more questions or want to share more about your situation and want advice.
I told this boy I liked him and he said "I don't care". He was joking but should I push further for a better answer or should I just let it go?
Asked by: QT, Mattapan, Ma
Answer: It's so hard to know what to do in these kinds of situations! He may have been joking because he didn't know how to respond, or he may not like you that way and not want to hurt your feelings so he turned it into a joke. Try staying friends with him and just see where it goes. But be prepared- you may have to be patient!
why do i feel so lonely??
my frnds say that i donot mix up or myself try to make frnds
but my relatives say the opposite.
please help me,i have become too sensitive that i even cry maximum times.
Asked by: , palampur.Himachal Pradesh
Answer: Thanks for your honest question.
You should know that like yourself, many teens struggle with these same feelings of sadness, confusion about relationships, and lonliness. These feelings may be due, in part, to the whole process of puberty that is probably happening. Puberty, the process of changing from a child into an adult,can be a very difficult time, in that you may be experiencing an enormous amount of change all at once. These changes are both physical and emotional and can impact the way one feels about themeselves and others. My suggestion would be to try and be patient with yourself and your friends as you all move through this time together. You might also want to find a trusted adult with whom you can share. Sometime it's good to have a grown ups perspective because they've been through alot of what you may currently be experiencing.
My fiend wants to know if she is pregnant but she dont want her mother to know yet. Can she go to the hospital without an adolt?
Asked by: az, lawrence ma
Answer: Thanks for your email.
First, let me say that you are a great friend to be showing such concern and doing this research. Your friend may want to begin by calling 1-800-Help, which is a national hotline that connects women with pregnancy crisis agencies in their area. These agencies will often offer free, confidential testing for STDs and pregnanacy. Additionally, many centers will offer free counseling services for those who wish to take advantage of such services.
I wish you and your friend the best of luck. Thanks for the question.
Is it bad if your boyfriend hit you but it was only once when he was under the influence and he apologized?
Asked by: j,
Answer: Hitting or even threats of physical violence are never okay. Alcohol and drugs can bring out the worst in people, but they don't bring out things that aren't already there. If your boyfriend has hit you once, unfortunately, he's likely to hit you again. And usually abuse gets worse (more severe), not better.
Your boyfriend may be sincerely sorry for what he did, but that doesn't mean it won't happen again. It's very common for people who abuse others to be good at apologizing. He needs to get help, and you need to protect yourself from further harm. If you haven't yet, find a trusted adult you can tell about what happened. And check out the fact sheet below.
i like this boy but we never went out he never thought of me like that but he would always flirt with me and alot of people would always think were together. i always think about him, can't seem to get over him... first question am i in love with him or is it just a crush
Asked by: AM, Hyde Park M.A.
Answer: It sounds to me like you probably have a crush. It's easy to have a crush on someone we find attractive, but don't worry, crushes can come and go and usually become less intense over time. Remember, you want to be with someone who is interested in you in the same way you're interested in them. This guy may not be the guy for you, but that's okay. Enjoy getting to know him as a friend, and leave love for later. There will be plenty of time for love in the future.
Why do you lose other people’s respect after you have sex?
Asked by: sh, roxbury, ma
Answer: That's a difficult question. Certainly not everyone loses the respect of others when they have sex— some people even seem to gain respect. This unfortunately often comes down to gender, with girls being called awful names and guys getting smiles of approval.
Most people at some level value sex as a special expression of intimacy that is worth saving for a committed relationship. Sharing that early or with more than one person might cause some people to judge the people, especially a girl, involved.
One of the consequences of choices we make is that they impact how other people think of us, either for good or for bad. You need to remember that your value as a person is not determined by what other people think or say about you. And if you have been involved in sexual activity in the past, you can always choose to start over, and make different choices the next time around.
how can you convice a boy that you like him?
Asked by: C.N, Lynn Ma
Answer: There are plenty of ways to show someone you care. You can tell him in words, write about your feelings in a note, help him with something at school, spend time with him, or give him a gift. At your age, especially, the best way to show someone that you care is to be a good friend to them. Focus on being a good friend and give your relationship time.
